French Kissing

Bizou = kiss; little kiss, kisses

The concept of the kiss in french is a bit strange for me to grasp. Mostly in terms of vocabulary, but also in practice (I mean in a friendly way, so relax all male relatives out there...ahem...dad).

I cannot seem to get a hang of this one-kiss-per-cheek-when-saying-hello thing in France. It's not the kissing total strangers on the cheek thing that's weird...after all I come from a big Mexican family where a kiss on the cheek is how we say hello. It's the TWO kisses that gets me. Personally, I'm a hugger. I go in for a friendly hug. If I don't know you that well, you might get the one-armed hug. But in general, I go straight for the hug. Big mistake here. Why? Because while I'm going in for a hug out of habit, a french person is going for a kiss on the cheek...so by the time I realize my mistake and try to correct myself, the french person is now fumbling to hug me back to be polite...which results in an awkward dance that nobody enjoys. What's even worse, is that even when I do remember to go for the kiss on the cheek, I always hesitate because I never know which side to start out on. Even BIGGER mistake. Why? Because if the other person is going for the same side, I end up kissing someone (sometimes a person I am meeting for the first time) right on the mouth. This almost happened to me twice today alone (luckily it was while saying goodbye to my friends). This is why I prefer the far less complicated one-kiss-on-only-one-cheek that I am accustomed to.

I'm used to kissing family members and relatives, sometimes close friends, on the cheek when saying hello or goodbye. But here is customary to do it (one per cheek) to everyone - friends, relatives, family, even people you are introduced to for the first time (unless it's in a business setting, I would assume). This is SUPER strange for me to see out and about. Coming from an American "macho man" culture, it is totally bizarre to be walking through the mall and see two manly 20-something-year-old guys run into each other and give "bizous" on the cheek instead of the classic "what's up man" head nod, a high five, or informal handshake to maintain personal space. Totally blew my mind the first time I saw it. If you saw two American guys, who weren't related, come up to each other and give a kiss on each cheek in LA, it's probably because you're in West Hollywood.

The other concept that's difficult for me to completely understand is the vocabulary of the word "kiss" itself. Bizou is the familiar word for "kiss" or "little kiss". It's what you say when you hang up the phone or end a text...like saying "kisses!". However, the actual word for a kiss as a noun is baiser. BUT, beware, because the second you use baiser as a verb and conjugate it as an action, it takes on the meaning "to fuck" (pardon my french...hahahahaha). The correct word for the VERB of kissing, or "to kiss" is embrasser. This is confusing for us English speakers because it sounds like our word for "embrace" - as in to hug. Well that is because it does, as well, mean "to hug" - further complicating things. So in a conversation, if worded the wrong way, you could say that you f*cked your neighbor instead of kissed...or accidentally ask someone for a kiss instead of a hug. I guess the safest route would be to use the phrase donner un baiser à... which means "to give a kiss to..." But still, the whole thing confuses me.

I remember when I first got here my host mom, totally amused by the English term "French Kissing" asked me at the dinner table "if I had every french kissed before, but REALLY french kissed, as in with tongue" (which she then acted out for me, in case I didn't know what she was talking about). Her husband, clearly mortified, told her to stop - that of course I knew what french kissing was. She responded with "Well how am I supposed to know???". I just about died laughing.

So...in case you had any trouble visualizing my awkwardness in cheek kissing vs. hugging situations, please enjoy the following clip from Just Friends starring Ryan Reynolds and Amy Smart:

Biz!!